Internet anyway. And I can watch it when it's convenient. I miss Hulu.
I don't know anyone in real life. The only people I talk to are on the
web. Without the web, the only conversation I had today was with my 4
year old about Dora the Explorer.
I am way too stressed out. Way. Way. Way. Reality is just hard and
it's becoming increasingly hard to deal with as my mind and body
slowly come undone. Even standing up is getting hard.
I miss driving. I really just want to get in the car and drive. By
myself. Windows down, radio blaring. Not going anywhere, just driving.
For the fun of it. Like cruising on a Saturday night in Lincoln. No
place to go, just going.
I have a diverse movie collection, but I've seen them all. I want
something new. Netflix instant view rules. Even if a lot of the movies
are bad. Bad movies are fun.
I don't listen to enough music. But I don't like much of anything
produced after 1990. Or before 1960. Country music is what pop was in
1980. Pop is just ew. Alternative isn't really alternative. Christian
music, with the exception of a few gems, continues to disappoint.
Often worse than than it used to be. There hasn't been a good hard
rock song since Boston. And most people wouldn't call that rock anymore.
I need to find a way to produce something while I still can. Something
solid and real and not fleeting. A picture or video or something. But
I'm afraid the creative part of me is dead. I just can't find that
spark that motivates me to see something through to the end. It's just
hard to concentrate for very long.
Watching movies about high school makes me feel a weird combination of
nostalgia for what never was and gut wrenching pain for what really was.
I love my wife with a fierce devotion. But I miss what we used to
have. I miss being able to talk to her without it being forced. I miss
having a common interest. I miss having nothing to do and doing it
with her. I hate that she is the only parent our kids have now and
that she has to do everything.
It's 2010. Where is my robot maid, my flying car, and vacation plans
for Disney World on the moon?
I miss sleeping with the window open and having a cool breeze lull me
to sleep. Even when the weather cools, the air here has a raw dusty
feel to it.
Holding a boombox over your head playing a Peter Gabriel song into the
bedroom window has to be the most epic way to try to win back a girl
in any movie anytime anywhere. Not that it might actually work, just
because that's an epic song.
It is possible to be so tired that you can't sleep. And too bored to
stay awake. And to be in this weird state where you feel like you are
asleep, but you're not and then awake when you're not and dreams and
reality blend into this weird thing that makes the matrix look like
Mary Poppins' cartoon chalk drawings.
You can only hit your head on a keyboard so many times before some of
the letters come off.