Today is a hard day. The funeral is today. My mom basically ordered me to not to come. And she's right. Even though I maybe could have scraped scrounged begged borrowed and stole enough to get a plane ticket so I could be there, traveling is not something I do well and I would have been physically and not just emotionally a wreck when I got there. And we're going to have to travel in a few weeks anyway for the wedding, so in reality it just wasn't an option.

I am hoping that the service can be a time of healing for everyone. My mom and her siblings haven't gotten along so well in recent years. My brother has managed to isolate himself from everyone. I like to imagine them all coming together and talking and crying together and mending their relationships. But, sadly, it probably won't be anything like that. They will probably hug and shake hands and go on their separate ways and never talk to each other again. But here's hoping.